He Chose Us First
- Krista Kalinowski
- Feb 4, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 21, 2024
When my husband and I were dating I would often ask him why he loved me.
Was it my inability to stay standing when I laugh too hard?
Was it my overly sensitive heart?
Was it the way I did my makeup or hair?
Was it because I made delicious chocolate chip cookies?
Was it my enjoyment for long car rides?
Was it my love for his excellent cooking?
Was it the way I always managed to run into things?
I knew all the reasons why I loved him, which I could list at any given moment, but whenever I asked him “Why do you love me?” His response always fell short of my expectations, being something along the lines of: “I don’t have a reason, I just love you because I love you.”
This response would irritate me, so I would press him because I felt like there needed to be a reason for his love. I think I’ve only asked him this question once since being married and it was around our 7th anniversary. Though my hopes were high when I asked, his answer was similar to what he’d always said before — yet this time I saw a deeper beauty in his response.
Me: Ken, why do you love me?
Ken: I just love you.
He just loves me.
There’s no list of expectations from him.
There’s no standard he is holding me to.
There’s no requirement he asks of me.
He just loves me.
With all the positives and negatives.
With all my quirks and faults.
With all my shortcomings and failures.
With all my mistakes and missteps.
With all the good and bad.
He simply loves me, for me.
I can't help but see how this love my husband has for me, mirrors the love God has for each and every one of us.
Me: God, why do you love me?
God: I just love you.
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:9-10 ESV)
There’s no requirement for His love.
There’s no special mark we need to hit in order to receive His love.
There’s no level we need to win to acquire His love.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)
God planned you before the foundation of the world.
God saw you before you were a thought in someone else’s mind.
God knew you as He knit you within your mother's womb.
God prepared a life for you before there was life in you.
God loved you before you even knew you needed loving.
We are loved because love is an outpouring of God’s character, and this pure love washes us clean; making us new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
It doesn't abandon us in our sin.
It doesn't give up when things get hard.
It doesn't force our hand or our heart.
It completely covers us.
It gives what we don't deserve.
It disciplines us.
It corrects us.
It redirects.
It knows what is best for us.
That’s real love.
He extended His heart toward us first.
He opened His arms to receive us first.
And now . . .
We decide whether or not we will embrace His love as our own. (Matthew 22:37-38)
We decide to believe that our sin has ultimately been conquered by grace. (Romans 10:9)
We decide to accept that our guilt, shame and shortcomings have been left in the grave. (1 Corinthians 15:55-57)
We decide to walk in humble obedience to God as an outpouring of our love in return to Him. (John 14:15 + Micah 6:8)
He chose us first.
And has graciously left us with the decision to honestly love Him back.
With much love - Krista
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